22. Oscar

I think I was brave on painkillers.

When I came to, when the pain had subsided enough for my thoughts to have a hold upon my body and for my eyes to open without being blinded, I saw her.

She looked as though she had her soul sucked out of her, now, no longer cheerful but lifeless as well. She was pale and in bloodied clothes, a white, now crimson shirt and slim-fit pants. She was covered in my blood.

She was shaking.

I cleared my throat to get her attention but she didn't say anything and merely glanced at me forlornly, the sick expression never leaving her face.

"Hungry," I moaned, amping up the appearance of pain, even though she and I both knew I could die and not fell the pain from the meds.

She stood quickly and wavered on the spot. She closed her eyes tiredly and nodded, absentmindedly walking into Wes' kitchen to prepare a quick meal.

"What is it?"

"Porridge," she answered quietly, the spoon clinked against the edge of the bowl as she passed it to him with quivering hands.

"Chae, aren't you going to ask me?"

She shrugged. "What?"

"How I got here? What happened? What I'm doing here? Why I never contacted you?"

"Tell me then," she said humourlessly.

"I didn't do it, you know. I tried to help Uncle Jin," I said. I hadn't eaten any porridge, I wasn't hungry in the first place.

"I know. I could tell from the bodies," she sighed. "And I know you're branded."

"What is it?"

"The brand?"

"No," I was concerned for her. She seemed dead, like I had killed her. "What's bothering you?"

"I'm at an impasse, I need to lead the bloodline because no-one will be satisfied with the elder, but I"m just so... sick of this. I just want to be."

"Be what?"

"Be. Just be. To let me be but I can't leave, its irresponsible," she poured out, as though these were the very things that were eating her up. "And dad's well, dead and you, you well, everything's just too much."

"Well, what do you need to do?"

"Bury the bodies, you need to get better, deal with the elder, you need to tell me everything that happened with the brand so I can tell the other bloodlines and I fell as thought there should be more but- I feel as though I can't breathe Oz."

"Take it one step at a time. Declare a period of mourning and we'll bury them first. Ask Tae to watch the Elder and I'll deal with the healing. Since we're mourning, the brand can be left til later. Make sense?"

She nodded.

"Now take a shower and go to bed, make sure it's nice and warm, get out of those bloody clothes and get at least twelve hours of sleep," I instructed. When it came to Chae, I naturally started looking after her, she had it harder, being the older twin when they were younger.

She turned around, "You know I'm angry at you?"

"Why?"

"The first time I see you in years, and I have to carve off the brand." she shuddered. "I've killed before you know. But this was worse."

I looked down, cold porridge clumped together in the bowl. "I'm sorry."

For everything.