21. Alex

We're not supposed to fight. Not us.


"She's my best friend. You're telling me to leave her alone?" Willow's not usually like this. Neither am I.


"You have to, Willow. See sense! You don't even have a firm grip on your own Territory!" 


"Cause if I leave, Trish is going to take over? She's not even a full Royal!" She laughed raucously, desperately.


"But your position's precarious, Chae just needs to stabilise her bloodline. She'll be okay."


"You don't understand! Chae just needs some support," She took a deep breath and drew herself up, as tall as she could be. "I need to do this, please Alex. Let's not fight."


"Honey," I whispered. "Do you know why you have so much trouble controlling your bloodline?"


"It's not about that-"


"It is, because you're too volatile. You do everything based upon your feelings. Based upon your ideal of right."


"That's not wrong!" She was tearing. She wasn't supposed to cry.


"No, it's not, honey, just weak. How are you supposed to be a leader when you care about everyone's feelings?" I was being harsh. I knew it.


"Get off me Alex. Go away." She was quiet, still dripping tears but cold.


"Wait, you can't go. Think about it, what can you do there? What can you do here?"


Willow was silent. 


"I shouldn't have, honey, don't be mad. I didn't mean to-"


"That's okay. Leave. I just want to be alone. Please."


I paused at the door, I was going to say something but she beat me to it. Sometimes I forget that she can potentially read my mind.


"No, I don't hate you, Alex. I hate myself."