18. Chae

Oscar used to live with us at the old residence, before we moved to the DMZ.


I used to think he was my big brother. It was nice, having someone else be older, taking responsibility. That was always Oscar, taking responsibility for us. I followed him around like I was his tail, and Tae was mine. But he didn't mind. Neither did I.


When we went to the cities, everybody would stare at us. That was what he looked like. Light brown-russet hair and soft myrtle dark eyes. 


And then we moved to the residence, we all did. But he didn't.




I wasn't angry at him. He had desperately wanted a taste of freedom. 


But he never visited. I started resenting him. 


I went to find him, but he had hidden. Nowhere to be found.


Or so I thought.


And now he just... appears. Isn't it funny? I find him marked and dying. And I'm the one who has to butcher it off. I was nauseous. It was gruesome.


But he has to be okay. 


My parents are gone, and he's back. My life is like a constant, no better, no worse. Actually, worse. Who am I kidding?


Really, who am I kidding? I have some misguided notion that Oscar, part of Thursday night's assault, will offer one reasonable counsel and advice.


I guess I'm desperate. I can't trust Grandfather, I can't talk to my parents, Wes' grandmother is constantly drunk and unreliable.


Tae's in no better position. He looks up to me, and he doesn't like power, or leadership. But what about me? When did I want it? Yes, Chae, you're older, but he's your freaking twin. What does a couple of minutes matter?


I just want out.